194 words

Tonight I wrote 194 words on that story from the other week. The writing went slowly. I felt bored by the story. This has happened to me before, usually when I think too much about the story in my head. After writing those 2k words the other week, I had down time, I did not write for a while, but had lots of time to think about the story on the drive down to Houston. I think during that thinking I 'figured out' some things about the story. Now I don't care. In my head, I discovered what happens in the story, so I don't care as much about writing it. It is not as interesting to me anymore. This frustrates me. I don't know how to avoid this. How can I turn off my brain?

So the 194 words tonight were two things, maybe. 1) They were an attempt to find fun, new, exciting things within the 'story' I had 'figured out' during my drive to Houston. These things happen when I look back at what I've written and find a point in the sentences that could lead to a few more sentences expanding on what I have said. Often these sorts of expansions lead to miniature lists or descriptions. Basically, examples of the previous sentence, what was mentioned/introduced in the previous sentence: the opening paragraph of my Hobart story is an example of that, I think, of what I'm talking about. 2) The 194 words tonight were also an attempt to break away from what I had 'figured out' during my drive to Houston, if that makes sense. I have less of a grasp on how this works in my writing. It is more of a rebellious thing, I guess. When I write in a new session, the words sort of resist the story I've 'figured out' in my head. I like this creative tension, I think. It adds to the drama of writing, makes it not boring. Also it makes me want to punch myself in the face. 

So, these are two ways I try to counteract the activity of my brain when it gets too far ahead of itself, I guess. I am realizing this now. I think this is a good realization. But the writing is going much slower. So I am annoyed again.

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I am excited about meeting new people over the internet. I like that, I think. Sometimes it scares me and sometimes I do not 'friend' people or email them because I worry about how that might be perceived: insane? arrogant? creepy? Then other times I feel out of control and write people emails and 'friend' them on various networking sites and then the next day I feel anxious all over again. What makes it all worth it, I think, is when people return that favor or whatever? That someone would just do that out of nowhere is what makes me want to do it out of nowhere.

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I have again changed the title of this blog. This will happen frequently according to my mood.